Dog Throws Shapes

I’ve had this on repeat for ten minutes, I can’t stop laughing.


Motorola have put up a new advert for their water resistant mobile near my train station. It’s titled ‘Are you ready to be pool party proof’?

In Scotland. In November.

No, Motorola, no I’m not. As Billy Connolly once said, ‘there are two seasons in Scotland – Winter and July’.

In any case, I’ve thought of an advert that will work for the Scottish corner of the world (and has added international appeal):

The new Motorola: It won’t die when you drop it down the toilet pissed on a night out.

I’d buy that.

Some Humour Doesn’t Translate

Have you ever been in the position where you’ve cracked a joke (or in my case, an awkward attempt at one), and had everyone take it seriously?

On Saturday night I was having a conversation with two female friends who are both getting married this year. They were discussing their photgraphers and the expense it would cost them. I quipped ‘you should just hire the guy who does the sketches for the High Court’.

One of them looked at me and said ‘I don’t know, I don’t think he’d have enough time to draw everyone’.

Four Better or Worse

I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs; phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with ‘the girls’ a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, ‘just some friends from work, you don’t know them’. I try to stay awake and look out for her when she comes home, but I usually fall asleep.

Anyway, I have never broached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just did not want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to finally check on her. Around midnight, I hid in the garage behind my golf clubs so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with ‘the girls’. When she got out of the car she was buttoning up her blouse, which was open, and she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment, crouching behind my golf clubs, that I noticed a hairline crack where the grip meets the graphite shaft on my 3-wood.

Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the pro-shop where I bought it?